Questioner:But isn’t it important to meditate?
Ngak’chang Rinpoche: Of course—it’s crucial [laughs]. But that’s just us tellingyou that. What do you think? How important do you think it is?
Q: TheDharma books say—
NR: Yes,“the Dharma books” say all kinds of things. People sometimes knock on our doorand tell us what their book says—but what does that mean? What do yousay?
Q: I guessI’m confused.
NR: That’sbetter! Splendid! That’s a much better place to find yourself.The next step is to accept that with a certain sense of humor.No one enjoys confusion, but as long as we cling to our dualistic vision, wewill always translate not knowing as “confusion.” We don’t likeconfusion because within the space of confusion definitions become vague andintangible. That makes us feel insecure. Accepting or relaxing in thatinsecurity is in itself a practice. This is the wisdom of insecurity. To bemotivated, you have to develop your understanding of what the process of shi-nèhelps you to discover. To develop motivation, you have to take a serious lookat your life.
Khandro Déchen: It could also be humorous . . . seriously humorous.
NR: Quite![laughs]
KD: Notwanting to sit is not feeling motivated to change. Not feeling motivated tochange is either being afraid of change or seeing no reason to change. If wehave a good understanding of Buddhism through reading, reflecting, andlistening—through checking these teachings against our ownexperience—motivation naturally develops. But take your time; be kind to yourself.
NR: Behonest and question your present motivations accurately—allow your attunedintent to grow. This is your experiment, so don’t have to complicate it withguilt and frustration. You’ll enter into practice when it makes sense at anexperiential level. If we want to meditate because we think it’s a religiousobservance, then real motivation may never arise from that.
KD: Acceptyourself as you are, and start from there. How does that sound?
Q: Itsounds like a big relief!
—from the book Roaring Silence